Friday, November 26, 2004

Meetings at the Boss's House.

him: So how was the meeting at the boss's house?
me: cruel and unusual
him: realy?
me: no... I suppose it was more just boring and unesessary
him: I can come up with no response that doesn't involve a large amount of sarcasm

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

oh the honour of it all!

On the phone at work today:

mom: Got some mail at the house for you today. Want me to open it?
me: (to self: she knows exactly what it is just by looking at the envelope) Sure mom.
mom: Jury Duty!

What followed can only be described as cackling came from my mother.

Later on:

Me: Got summoned for jury duty today
co-worker: *gushing as new-ish immigrants are wont to do* Oh I got called for jury duty once! They show you this video that describes the honour of being a juror!
me: patriotisim in jury duty.

Monday, November 22, 2004

we are the super firends (nee! nee! nee!)

me: Yes, you're deffinately in the friends catagory now - with all the benifits and freakish negatives it includes.

her: ...

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Further surgery may be required

Setting the scene: Myself and supervisor pondering a photo I had just blended together (head from one photo to body of the other) I have spent over an hour on it and was sweaty with triumph.

Supervisor: I wish you'd just put some effort into this and blend out her imperfections ... (points out vague marks). You know... a little plastic surgery.
Me: I just replaced her entire head!
Supervisor: *laughs for a full 30 seconds* Ok, so you'll get to work on that for me then?

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Another reason to stay in the closet

Me: yeah, I'm gonna stay in my jammies all day and watch 3 hours of star trek
Me Continued:...that's something you should know about me. That I'll do that kind of thing.
Her: I'll watch 3 hours of CSI
Me: yeah, but yours is socialy acceptable.

saumari pizza cat

Whenever I have pizza, I'll always put the empty box on the floor for a few hours before throwing it out.

So my cat can enjoy a guilty pleasure and lounge about on it.

This is the kind of thing I'll do even for an animal that I call a big fat jerky jackass on a regular basis.

Now congratulate me on how awsome I must be to animals I like.

read it

I've internet-stalked dooce for years. You should too.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

subway antics

Someone I haven't spoken to in ages pulls out an email I sent to her two years ago and sends it to me for kicks.

> > I just got to work a few minutes ago, and the funniest thing happened to
>me on the subway. I had a forward facing window seat and I'm just stoned
>out totaly asleep. I had my newspaper and my bagle snugged in between my
>leg and the window. All the sudden I wake up and I see this arm reached
>across me. The woman sitting beside me was trying to steal my newspaper
>while I was asleep! So I give her this dirty look and all these people are
>staring at us - and she just grins and continues to take my newspaper! I
>mean I was done with it, so I didn't try to take it back, but I just
>couldn't belive it was happening!

My memory still drags this out at random times.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

missing: one emergency

Last night the fire alarm in the building went off twice.

I learned 2 things.

1) The cat has a super secret hiding spot - unknown to any living human, for super emergencies only. Should the building go up in flames, the cat will deffinately end up a well toasted tater tot.

2) Never ever ever wear house coat during a fire alarm. Weight appearence is doubled, and you look like an ass in general. Everyone else managed to find their coats, so can you.

I also suspect I will be ignoring the next 3:30am fire alarm.

Note to firemen: two tater tots to be found in super secret hiding spots on the 16th floor.

Monday, November 08, 2004

fall from grace

I had a fall of the most spectacular kind yesterday. It was during transit from the sofa to the computer table. - a half twist I usualy exicute with relative ease. This time however, my toe slipped and I slammed my neck onto the edge of the table, and as I slid down (creating something of a road rash on my neck) I proceeded to bash my knee against the floor.

There was enough pain to cry out, but all I did was grunt and groan a little as I twisted about on the floor - half in effort to see if any of my body was ruined beyond repair, but mostly just to find a comfortable position while I wallowed in misery.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

basket case

I've created a basket for my bicycle out of exactly 42 sticks (of a thickness that can't quite be called a twig - but perhaps a branch), and a rather large amount of string. Suprisingly enough, the construct itself looks fantastic.

Only the parts where I tied it to the bike, does it look unnatural. I suspect copious amounts of ribbon will be part of my solution.