Thursday, December 30, 2004

a brief history of time

to self: "has anyone ever really developed a theory on how time travel might work? I mean I know there's the Einstine theory... but I never really considered that time travel - I find it closer in relation to the concept of suspended animation. Has anyone come up with any other theories? The paradoxes involved are realy screwy. I mean the moment you enter the new time, either everything before or everything after that point changes instantaniously and continues to change from moment to moment as the traveller moves through that new time. If time travel is ever conclusively proven, at the same time, the existence of alternate realities will also be proven"

Monday, December 27, 2004

another conversation involving my box

I got a bread box for christmas this year. I later announced to my mother;

"I can't wait to put some bread in my box!"

Friday, December 17, 2004

clearly a euphamisim

me: do you want this box?
coworker: no I don't want your box. ...does it have a lid?
me: no
coworker: then I deffinately don't want your box
me: no one wants my box

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

geek pickup lines

Her: would you like to access my ftp server?
Me: I'm gonna access it like crazy, baby

Friday, December 03, 2004

Hanukia Tree

Thanks to a completely missunderstood phone message and a total lack of understanding of the holiday season, my co-worker relayed the message to me today (from my boss) that the "Hanukia Tree" must be errected today.

This task fell upon me for some reason or another so off I went to set up this tree. Despite the easy piramid shape, it still took an abnormal amount of time to get the tree together. Several arguments broke out and one injury was sustained. (an accidental kick to the head)

Once the tree was finaly together, the next challenge was to figure out how the prestrung lights plugged together within the tree. There were 8 plugs floating around in there (something I wasn't expecting, and it took quite some time to realise it and puzzle it all together)

All and all, it took me an hour to just set up the tree. 20 minutes to decorate it and a frustrating 15 minutes of fiddling with the menorah that was to be placed beside it. (not on top of the tree as I had innitialy hoped) I swore a great deal through the entire process and I'm fairly certain I made the baby jesus cry.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Meetings at the Boss's House.

him: So how was the meeting at the boss's house?
me: cruel and unusual
him: realy?
me: no... I suppose it was more just boring and unesessary
him: I can come up with no response that doesn't involve a large amount of sarcasm

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

oh the honour of it all!

On the phone at work today:

mom: Got some mail at the house for you today. Want me to open it?
me: (to self: she knows exactly what it is just by looking at the envelope) Sure mom.
mom: Jury Duty!

What followed can only be described as cackling came from my mother.

Later on:

Me: Got summoned for jury duty today
co-worker: *gushing as new-ish immigrants are wont to do* Oh I got called for jury duty once! They show you this video that describes the honour of being a juror!
me: patriotisim in jury duty.